I swear we're not the Griswolds

I'm seriously going to put this story in a movie one day.

So my family and I started a tradition during Christmas of '06 in which my parents, my brother John & sister-in-law Kristin, my niece Karis and my nephew Toby go cut down a Christmas tree. The first time, I felt like I was 10 years old again, my mom got some great photos...all in all it was a great day that went off without a hitch.

This time...well, let's just say this time was a little more interesting.

This year, we arrive at the Christmas tree lot and start wandering around, looking for a nice hearty tree. We find a lower lot in which the selection of trees is far superior, so we proceed to walk down the hill to said lower lot...all except for my dad. HE decides he's going to drive his little pickup down the hill and meet us there. Fine. Great! Don't have to carry the tree up the hill.

So having found the perfect tree, we all start wondering where my father might have gotten off to. It's been about 15 minutes and no sign of mi padre.

At which point, my brother, with just the slightest tint of annoyance in his voice, points out, "I don't know if this is gonna alarm anyone else, but that sure sounds like a truck spinning it's wheels in mud."

Excellent. I listen. And he is unmistakably correct. I walk over to the source of the noise, and lo and behold, there's my father, attempting to reverse up a muddy hill and having absolutely no luck in doing so.

Next thing I know, I'm jumping up and down on the back of the pickup, attempting - with very, very little success - to give the wheels some traction.

Ten minutes later, after apparently complaining to everyone else, "I really don't wanna go over there," along comes my brother to help out, followed by Kristin - both of them looking slightly non-plussed over the whole situation. They're carrying tree branches. These supposedly will provide the traction we need to get the car out! At this point, things are just getting ridiculous.

This is getting a bit long-winded, so I'll try to cut it short. Basically, the scene ended up looking something like this: Kristin and myself on the back of the truck, attempting to hold down the back wheels, my dad in the driver's seat, and John literally lifting up the front of the truck, just asking to be run over. Meanwhile, my niece and nephew are somewhere at the top of the hill, and my mom, in between taking candid photos of the whole debacle, is basically just shaking her head, hoping that her husband doesn't kill one of his sons. Finally, my mom totally comes through in the clutch and finds some roof tiles in an abandoned shed along the side of the road. I'm not kidding. You can't make this shit up! The roof tiles provide the traction we need to get the truck up most of the hill. And just when we're stuck on the last little hump we need to get over, my niece (5 years old, mind you) finds the guy who runs the tree farm and tells him, "Yep, they're stuck down there. In the mud." She's freakin' awesome.

So the guy comes down in his truck and extricates us from the situation. Crisis averted. No sons dead.

And you know, what, not to get all preachy again, but that's the biggest memory I'm going to take away from my holidays this year. Sure, I appreciate all of the gifts that people gave me, but what I'm really going to remember about the whole thing is how our stomachs hurt from laughing so hard after this whole debacle. Sure it was ridiculous and my dad was quite the dumbass for driving down a muddy hill in his two-wheel drive pickup. But it made for one of the better memories I have of any holiday. And that's honestly what matters to me.

Now I'm gonna go take some photos with my sweet new camera.

Kidding, kidding!

Okay, so it's been a while

So I'm back.

Since I've been away, we've had Hanukkah, Christmas, New Years. I've had three weeks off. This has given me a whole lot of time to do, well, mostly a whole lot of nothing.

I did accomplish a few things. I caught up on some television shows! Here are my thoughts:
A) The Wire, Season 4 - seriously, it's the best show I've ever seen (okay, well maybe tied with Arrested Development). It's so incredibly intelligent, funny, and most of all, important. I'm not saying it's going to change the world, but I sure think that having more shows like The Wire can only serve to make more people out there think about issues outside their own lives. And Season 4 is on another level too. The producers basically sidelined their main character for an entire SEASON, and they made the best season of arguably the best show ever. And Season 5 is supposed to be even better. Can I work on a show like that? Anyone?

B) Californication - it's pretty damn funny. Not necessarily the funniest show I've ever seen, but David Duchovny rocks, and it's all in all pretty clever and well done. Anyway, definitely worth checking out.

C) Weeds, Season 3 - I don't know what happened to this show after the first season. It was some of the most original comedy I've seen lately, and then it just got too tongue in cheek. The first season was actually based in reality, as ridiculous as it may have been. Now it's just too far-fetched. That said, Season 3 was much better than Season 2. Significantly funnier. There's one moment when one of the drug dealers buys a Prius because, "It's quiet. Good for sneakin' up on mothafuckas." Pretty great.

So those are my thoughts. And I can't wait for Lost to come back on. Although I only get 8 episodes. Seriously.

Okay. I'm going to stop there. I was going to include quite the adventure story from my holiday season, but I think I'll save that for the next entry. Gonna make this one short.

It's good to be back. I plan on keeping up on this whole blog thing more in this new year. '08! The possibilities are endless, right?!

Let me count the ways...

Since I feel like I'm always going off about really serious stuff here on this blog, this is going to be a bit of a less serious entry for a change.

So...have you guys had these?!

Oh.

My.

Holy.

Crap.

These things are freakin' amazing. If you haven't had the intense pleasure of experiencing these absolutely scrumptious cookies, let me explain them to you. Basically they're Joe-Joe's - Trader Joe's version of the Oreo but significantly better - but hold on! The filling isn't just regular old cookie creme filling. Oh no. The creme has little, heavenly pieces of candy cane all mixed up inside of it. Again, I will say it - holy crap! I'm not even that fond of Oreos, but these things are freakin' insane. Seriously, I brought some to work, and between 5 of us, we ate an entire box in a day. They're just exceedingly delicious.

This all goes toward the larger purpose of this particular entry.

I love Trader Joe's.

Seriously. I remember the moment when I first heard that Trader Joe's was coming to New York City. I was in a deli, about to get money from an ATM, and my friend Krista broke the news.

"You know they're putting a Trader Joe's around Union Square."

I turned to her and screamed, "What?!?!" And then I literally proceeded to jump around in a circle with excitement. Now, that may seem mildly gay to you, but I don't really care. That's how much I truly love TJ's.

Now, I know that it's a bit of a pain in the ass to shop there on the weekends. But is this really Trader Joe's fault? Isn't that just a testament to how absolutely fantastic the store is?

So I have no idea if you're going to be interested in this or not, but I'm just going to list off a few of my favorite things that I tend to purchase from TJ's on a regular basis that make me happy. What can I say? Food makes me happy. It's delicious.

Anyway. Here goes.

This granola over here is absolutely phenomenal. This is seriously what I eat for breakfast every single day:

Nature's Path Organic Hemp Plus Pumpkin Granola w/ Trader Joe's lowfat yogurt and some sort of fruit. At TJ's, they have plain, vanilla, strawberry and vanana (a mix of vanilla and banana) yogurt option, and all are delicious.

I guess this brings me to what I love most about Trader Joe's - although the Candy Cane Joe-Joe's are a bit excepted from this. It's got such incredibly healthy stuff. And I think that in this country of overconsumption and obesity, it's nice to see that a place like Trader Joe's has a line an hour long on Sundays in New York. It's not much, and it's not as though everything sold at TJ's is completely healthy. But at least it's something.

So to conclude, here are a few more of my favorite things...at Trader Joe's and in general:

Mango Salsa
Pineapple Salsa
Shumai
Any frozen pizzas
Triple Ginger Snaps

Oh the list goes on and on.

So I'm sure most of you have experienced the joy of Trader Joe's, but if you haven't, do yourself a favor and check it out. I promise you won't be disappointed.

Christmas is for Buying!!

Shit.

We're sellin' some shit! You want some shit?! Well we got all the shit you need right here!

Have you seen this commercial?



I'm seriously thinking of boycotting Best Buy after this whole debacle. Okay...so I understand that does nothing, really. I buy products from Best Buy about once a year. If I decide not to buy shit from them anymore because of this ad, it will have absolutely zero affect on their business.

But that doesn't stop me from going off on this a little bit in my little corner of the Interweb. (Okay, let me just vehemently stress that I do not actually think it's called the Interweb. It's just my way of making fun of our retarded president. 'Cause I'm sure he's made that mistake at least a few times in his life.)

Anyway. Enough with my digressions. Man, I do love a tangent.

Now, I realize that this isn't an original idea by any means. But what the hell has this season has become all about?! I just think the whole notion of mass consumerism has gotten completely out of control, and I really just think it's getting worse.

You know what I'm excited about? I'm excited about going home to California to see my family who I haven't seen since the summer. And I understand that makes me extremely lucky to have a family that I'm excited to go home to. But the point is, I could honestly care less about the gifts that I get. I really don't need more shit in my life. I get along just fine with the things I have. Now this is not to say that I don't appreciate the gifts that I receive during Christmas. My mom recently asked me if I wanted some guitar or mandolin lessons this year while I'm home. I think that's a fantastic gift. It's thoughtful and actually means something to me.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't get caught up in this bullshit. I have absolutely gotten gifts for people that didn't actually mean anything to them just because I felt that I had to. I'm just saying that I wish that it wasn't this way. I don't know how to change it and I can't imagine that it's ever going to change. I just feel like we've lost our souls a little bit when it comes to all of this. And I wish these things weren't so expected of all of us.

I wish that the people that we love - whether it be family or friends or girlfriends or boyfriends or whomever - would just be thankful to have us around for the holidays.

I'm not even saying I'm against giving gifts, really. I'm always appreciative when someone gives me a gift that I actually feel that he or she put thought into. Basically I'm just pissed that all of these companies have taken these holidays, which should be mostly about spending time with the people we love and not having to stress about work for once, and co-opted it into this time of expressing how much you care by buying shit that people don't need.

Anyway, this is really negative, so I'm gonna stop. I'm now going to think about how in two weeks, I'm going to be sitting in front of a fire at my parents' house, staring at the redwood trees and just being thrilled about the fact that I get to spend time with some of my favorite people in the world. Maybe it sounds completely cheesy, but that's absolutely what's most important to me in all of this. And I think it's important to step back and realize that sometimes.

Gladiators...mount up

I was just sitting here watching Heroes, trying to forget that all television as we know it will cease to exist - I am seriously going to miss 30 Rock and The Office. With reports that Lost isn't coming back until 2009, AND The Wire going into its last season, I might just cancel my cable altogether. So here I was, enjoying what I think is a fun but rather fluffy show, I happened to catch the tail end of an ad for a new show on NBC. Or rather a !NEW AND IMPROVED! version of an old show.

You know what that show is, oh blog readers of mine? Think of the five most ridiculous, inane, cheesy shows you've ever seen. Got 'em? Well, I can only imagine that if you took a poll of those who grew up in the 80s, this show would probably appear on at least a few of those "worst shows of all time" lists.

Yes, that's right ladies and gentlemen.

It's American Gladiators. And it's back.

First of all, just looking at this ridiculous photo over to the left here, did you forget how freakin' juiced up these chicks and dudes were?! Isn't it amazing? I mean, come ON! They make Barry Bonds look like he tries to beef up on McDonalds and Bloomin' Onions every day!

And do you remember how ridiculous their names were? Here's some samples - man, I love Wikipedia:
Nitro, Lace, Malibu, Zap, Gold, Laser, Storm, Ice, Viper...man, the list goes on and on.

And in a truly odd little tidbit of useless pop culture knowledge, Wikipedia also tells me that Joe Theismann hosted the first season of the show?! Damn. Weird. What a career he's had after leaving professional football.

Okay, so enough about the past here. We're talking about the bright future of television here! This particular incarnation of the show here is hosted by none other than Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali. I mean, I know they're paragons of fitness or whatever, but really?! I mean, doesn't that just seem like a disaster to you? Who's the color commentator on that team? Isn't it bound to just turn into Hulk and Laila challenging each other to bigger and bigger duels until one of them kills each other? Maybe I need to pitch THIS show! Can't be worse than the crap that this show is about to rain down on the American public.

Okay, so I'm rambling. The point is, this is the crap that we're just gonna see more and more as the WGA strike goes on. And it makes me angry. Okay, so I've worked on some really crappy reality shows, so maybe I just need to shut the hell up.

But really, my feeling on the whole thing is this - is this all really worth it for the television studios?! I don't claim to know a whole lot about the ins and outs of this strike, but I do know that what the writers are asking for is completely within reason. More and more we're going to see content obtained through the Internet. Hell, we might not even have TV as we know it soon. And it's crazy and incredibly insulting for the studios to expect that the writers are just going to lay down and accept that they just aren't gonna get paid for all the work that they put their lifeblood into.

All that aside though, I just can't imagine that it's even remotely a smart move for the studios not to give the writers what they want on this. Is American Gladiators really going to cut it? Is it a replacement for shows like 30 Rock that have a loyal audience? I don't claim to know much about television ratings either, but I think it's insane to think that a physical challenge show featuring a bunch of jacked up nobodies is going to be a valid replacement for the well-written shows that the studios are tossing aside.

But my biggest problem with the whole thing is this - all of this just shows me that these studios have absolutely no respect for the American viewing audience. They seem to think that if we are presented with the lowest common denominator, we'll watch it just 'cause it's there.

And maybe that's true. And that scares me more than anything.

And honestly - I wish that these studios felt more of a responsibility to present people with intelligent, fulfilling entertainment. But I just can't see that happening.

Someone tell me why I work in television again? Sigh...

It's Just THAT Good

So last night, I watched 2 things - This American Life (the Showtime version of the brilliant radio show) and The Animation Show, a collection of animation put together by Mike Judge and Don Herzfeldt. It showcases some of the more incredible and hysterical animation I've ever had the pleasure to see.

These particular pieces of entertainment are very pure examples of people at the utmost top of their games. This American Life is such an unbelievably produced show. The producers find these stories that might seem completely inane and find the heart and humor in them. They take this heart and this humor and bring it to the surface in this often touch, often hilarious and always beautifully sensitive way. I just marvel at everyone involved in the show and everything involved in making it so outstanding.

And some of the animations in The Animation Show are absolutely too ridiculous to describe. And what range too. Some of my favorite pieces in the entire collection are the extremely simple but absolutely hilarious Don Herzfeldt pieces. They're literally stick figure animations, but the scripts are so damn funny, and the amount of expression and life he is able to put into these frankly stupid drawings is crazy!

And then there's Fallen Art. If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing this completely beautiful, disturbing, deliciously inventive piece of animation, go to YouTube right now and watch it. I promise you won't be disappointed. It never gets old and I'm just in awe every time of how someone came up with this idea and made into something this amazing.

Anyway. I was watching this with my lovely girlfriend Shannon, and we had a little discussion about how truly phenomenal some of the pieces in the animation collection are, and how we wished that we had ever done something that phenomenal with OUR lives. It wasn't much of discussion - just one of those, "Man, I need to create things!" kind of thing. It's a conversation that comes up often enough, considering she's a graphic designer and I'm a (very much aspiring) producer/filmmaker...etc.

But I just started listening to an radio episode of This American Life a minute ago, and the conversation sort came back to me.

And I realized how much I haven't done nearly enough "creating" in my life and that I'd better get on it or I'm gonna miss out. Don't get me wrong - there are people who start new professions and new hobbies and new talent that they never knew they had at the age of 75. And that's fantastic in and of itself, but I certainly don't want to wait until I'm 75 to discover that I'm capable of writing a brilliant detective novel or take prize-winning photographs of objects that might look completely uninteresting otherwise.

So that's it. This post is basically for me, I suppose. I just wanted to tell myself that I shouldn't just keep having these conversations about how I want to create my own work. I should actually freakin' do it. So if you know me and you see me, please feel free to ask me if I've done any creating lately. 'Cause I obviously need a kick in the ass, and maybe if I actually have to tell people that, "No, I've been meaning to do this and this and that, but I haven't yet..." I'll get embarrassed enough to actually do it one day.

It's Debate-tastic!

I'm sitting here right now, watching the Democratic debate and I noticed something quite odd and frankly really disturbing.

So we have these three "front runners," right? Hillary, Barack and John. Let me say this before going any further: I can't tell you how much I want to have a woman or a minority running our country. I think it's absolutely embarrassing that the only people who have held the position of President in this country have been white males. Truly it is.

That being said, I also believe steadfastly that the fact that Hillary Clinton is a woman is no reason to vote for her. The same goes for Barack Obama being African-American. If I end up not voting for either of these candidates in the primary, I will honestly feel a little guilty for not having voted for the woman or the black man. But I can't let that sway my vote away from someone who I believe will best represent my beliefs and who will best serve to reverse the atrocious policies that this current abomination of an administration has set upon the suffering people of this country.

But I digress - see, I do this whole digression thing a lot.

Anyway, so what I find so disturbing about this debate I'm currently watching is that the aforementioned front runners are the ones that don't sound real to me. I'm sitting here listening to Obama - a man I saw be so down to earth on The Daily Show - sound so incredibly like a "politician" that I'm starting not to believe anything he says. I'm listening to Hillary Clinton give extremely robotic, very rehearsed-sounding answers that just don't ring true at all. I'm watching John Edwards push his compassionate Southern persona so hard that I'm really starting to wonder if that persona is actually him.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden is standing on the other side of the stage from Edwards, Obama & Clinton (with Chris Dodd thrown in between Obama and Edwards in an ever-so-thinly-veiled attempt to say, "Hey, we care about these other guys!") sounding LIKE A REAL FUCKING PERSON. Bill Richardson is talking about how we treat teachers like crap and underpay them and he actually sounds passionate about something that he is making me believe that he FUCKING BELIEVES IN. Right now, Chris Dodd is speaking about Musharraf, Pakistan and Afghanistan, and he's almost getting angry, he's raising his voice, and that makes me thrilled because he actually seems like he FUCKING CARES ABOUT SOMETHING.

Now, I know that this isn't all that matters when choosing our President. Dennis Kucinich, as much as I believe in so much of what he believes in, has done very little in his political career to make me confident in his ability to actually get enough done as President.

The point is this - I can't believe that the state of politics in this country is such that the leading Democratic candidates - I'm not even going to broach the subject of republicans, 'cause I could go off about that for hours - are the only ones on this stage right now that I don't think are being straight with me. (I have to say, John Edwards actually showed some life a minute ago, and I have always thought that, of the three front runners, Edwards is definitely the most real.) It just makes very little sense to me, and even more so, it makes me really sad. I want my President to be passionate about issues. I want these candidates to get fired up and pissed about how badly Bush and his cronies have fucked up this country. I want them to make jokes and act like a REAL FUCKING PERSON. Don't we want a real goddamn human being running our country?!?

Ugh. Okay, I'm gonna stop right now, because I'm obviously getting worked up. And I'm not even saying that I'm not going to vote for Obama or Edwards - I'm sorry, I'm not voting for Clinton. I just don't think she's going to do even marginally enough to change this country, and I think she's by far the most vulnerable against republicans. I'm just saying that I wish that the world wasn't this way.

But then again, there are a lot of things in this world that I would change if I could. And maybe this is a minor one. But I just got fired up about it and had to write.